Now that I’m getting used to sharing what’s going on in my life I’m really enjoying it. I did my radio show yesterday, Keeping It Together With Alison, The Safety Mom, and I devoted the first ten minutes to talk about what’s really going on in my life.
It’s always seems to be on Wednesdays either right before my show or during my show that the crises seem to erupt. I had started off yesterday morning feeling really good, I was up at 5A being productive and then the kids woke up early. I was so resentful that they woke up and cut into my work time but then I felt guilty for even thinking that – ah, the emotional roller coaster of moms!
I called my assistant freaking out because I didn’t know what I was going to do having Spencer home another day. I have to work to support myself and the kids as my soon-to-be-ex hubby has not contributed a dime to nursery school, Spencer’s medical bills, the kid’s dental bills or any of the joint debt that we incurred including a huge sum owed to my mother. Yup, left me holding the bag on everything and so far, after a year and a half, has not been forced to pay by the court.
I’m so grateful for the tight group of friends who are in my life. Stephanie, my assistant, had me bring Spencer over to her house. Her friend is visiting for Virginia with her son who’s around Spencer’s age. I was psyched – a play date for Spencer and the chance for me to work uninterrupted for three hours before my radio show! Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. Within 45 minutes of Spencer being there he had a complete meltdown. Since he’s been home with me he’s become increasingly clingy and doesn’t want to leave my side. I was definitely worried this was going to happen being home so much and I’m not sure what to do. At the same time this happens, the nonsense from my ex starts coming in. These stories need to be saved for another blog but suffice to say that he’s bent on destroying me and does everything in his power to make my life miserable. So now, 45 minutes before my show, I’m on my way to pick up my son who’s having a breakdown, hearing the voice of my ex in my head and dealing with about five other phone calls coming in. Calgon take me away! I don’t know how many tears the human body is capable of making but I have to believe I’m reaching my limit.
But, God has given me the gift of pulling it together when I need to be on camera or on the radio and I did it yet again. See, that’s what I love more than anything. Talking to people, like I am now, and sharing. For me, it’s not just how I make my living. IT’S WHAT I LOVE!!!!
Of course after the show I was back to dealing with the school who has still not signed the contract for Spencer’s short term placement so I have no idea when he’s starting. And back to negotiating through my lawyer with my ex. And dealing with a computer that’s so slow it should be put out of its misery.
I fell asleep with my clothes on at 9P last night. Sleep is my way of dealing with stress which, considering the alternative methods, is probably a good thing. Like I said yesterday, I am an eternally optimistic person. No matter what, I always wake up with a renewed sense of hope. I started e-mailing a friend this morning talking about all of the things going on in my life. I wrote that I wished I could just focus on work. If I could just stop getting interrupted by the nastiness and persistence of my ex, the bureaucracy of the school and the other problems, I’d be fine I told her. And then it occurred to me. Stephanie had been saying it all along to me – “Alison, you don’t have a choice – suck it up and just do it.” She’s right. When I had my last miscarriage and was in a bad state, a good friend said to me “OK, you can have a pity party for a little while but then you’re done.”
They’re right – I had my pity party last night for a while but now I just need to suck it up and do it! I’m the only one who has the power to decide what I’m going to concentrate on. If I choose to allow my focus to go places other than work than it’s my own darn fault.
The only way I can truly help Spencer (and my daughters) is by doing what I do best and keeping myself strong and healthy so I can care for them.
So I’m ready to tackle the day and Just Do It!!
Alison Rhodes is the founder of Safety Mom Enterprises and Safety Mom Solutions, the premier baby proofing and child safety company in the New York, New Jersey and Connecticut area. Alison is a family safety expert, TV personality and consultant.